Or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love the Quarantine
Before I left on my trip earlier this year, I thought about a lot of things that could go right, and a lot of things that could go wrong. I considered all kinds of options from car trouble to crime to weather-related disasters. I can honestly say that I did not consider “global pandemic brings the entire country to a screeching halt and I get stalled in Southern Mississippi for weeks” as one of those options.
Things with covid-19 started to get serious during my last couple weeks in New Orleans, until eventually everything shut down and I spent my last week there stuck inside my Airbnb. My next stop was supposed to be Texas, but the wedding I was going for got postponed. Meanwhile the virus had gotten pretty bad in New Orleans; I wasn’t sure if I would get sick, or worse, if it was possible for me to make someone else sick. I knew I would have to spend some time self-quarantining, but for multiple reasons going back to New Hampshire or California or Boston were not options. I looked around me for somewhere I could isolate comfortably, and that is how I ended up in Gulfport.
It’s hard to understate how confusing things were for me (and all of us) those first few weeks–things were changing so fast that it was impossible to make plans. I was hoping a few weeks in Gulfport would buy me some time, at the end of which either it would be clear that things were getting better and I could move on with my trip, or they were getting worse and I would need to make some hard choices about my big plans.
I chose Gulfport because it is not far from where I was (about 90 minutes from New Orleans) and has abundant natural beauty, with gorgeous white sand beaches and lots of sunshine. I figured if I had to socially isolate myself, I might as well do it somewhere pleasant, even if I couldn’t do anything else while I was there. It turned out to be a great plan, but only for the first part of my time there. After a couple of weeks, the state of Mississippi closed all of their beaches and I spent the rest of my time there stuck inside, watching TV.
One show I watched a whole series of is The Good Place. It’s not only a very good and funny show, but it also gave me a handy metaphor for my time in Gulfport: I was stuck in The Medium Place. For those who have not seen the show, it follows a set of characters who have died and found themselves in an afterlife where good people are sent to The Good Place and bad people are sent to The Bad Place. The one exception is a woman named Mindy StClaire, who due to a loophole belongs in neither The Good Place nor The Bad Place. The rulers of the afterlife make a compromise and send her to The Medium Place – a place that is neither great nor terrible. It’s just mediocre.
My time in Gulfport feels an awful lot like I’m stuck in The Medium Place. There are beautiful sugar-sand beaches, but they are closed and I can’t enjoy them. The weather is perfect, but there is nothing I can do outside. There are plentiful restaurants and bars, but they are all closed. It’s a lovely place, but I don’t get to enjoy it.
I am still working during the day, which is nice since it gives me structure and a reason to get dressed and remember what day of the week it is. And I have been keeping myself busy in my downtime too; I’ve read like seven books, taught myself to play chess, become an armchair expert on astrology, knit an entire blanket, taken multiple scenic drives, got back into The Sims, done many many Zoom happy hours, and caught up on TV. Out of sheer boredom and a desire to entertain myself and my long distance friends, I developed an elaborate narrative on my Instagram page about the goose who lives in the pond behind my Airbnb.
A small irony of this experience is that during my time in Nashville and New Orleans, I struggled to make downtime for myself and avoid burning myself out. I went pretty hard during my stay in each of those cities, and now I’ve had to swing sharply in the other direction and do basically nothing for several weeks. They say balance is important, but I don’t think they mean doing 100% for two months followed by 0% for two months.
I’m not going to lie, being stuck out in the middle of nowhere by myself, thousands of miles away from family and friends during one of the scariest events in modern history is not awesome. It’s also been hard for me to avoid falling into despair about my trip being “ruined.” Not to make this whole thing About Me, but I think the hardest part for me personally has been that I only have so much time on this big magical adventure I’ve started, and this all feels like a massive pointless waste of that precious time.
I am trying to relieve that feeling by focusing on what I can learn from this experience. The universe is a chaotic and indifferent place, so I guess the least I can do is try to let it teach me something. Flexibility, patience, gratitude… It might still be a little too soon to have that kind of perspective yet, but I do know adversity breeds character. Insert your favorite inspirational quote here.
My objective in Gulfport was the buy some time, and in that sense it was a success. At the end of my time there the light at the end of the tunnel started to appear, and it seems that things may start opening up soon(ish). So I’m not giving up on my adventure yet! I’ve decided to make my next stop the Ozarks area of Arkansas – about a nine hour drive from Gulfport, but with more social-isolation-compliant recreational opportunities. Stay tuned!
Alyson Gagne 